I just thought that this was cute.
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I am 89% Evil Genius
I am pure evil. I lie awake at night devising schemes of world domination, and I will not rest until all living souls bend to my will.
Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com
I'm the bestest evil, and, more importantly, get Brain as my mascot! Yay!
Dear god. I can't decide if this is a brilliant parody or a whole mess of very stupid, misguided people.
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Special aside to war supporters: Buying French wine and publically pouring it into gutters doesn't hurt the French. You already paid for the wine. You can do whatever you want with it, and no one's going to get hurt except your checkbook. Think things through first, hunh?
You asked if not supporting war right now makes you unAmerican.
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I have to say that my answer, at least, is decidedly not. Being ashamed of shameful events in our country's history does not make you unAmerican. If anyone here said that they weren't disgusted by the brutality displayed towards Native Americans, towards black slaves before the civil war, towards Japanese Americans during World War II, I would be shocked. I think that every person here will agree that these were horrible, horrible events that never should have happened.
I believe that this war is another horrible, unjust war based upon not right or wrong, but upon a personal vendetta that the leader of our country has against Iraq. Iraq was asked to disarm, with the knowledge that if the United States could find a shadow of a doubt that they were doing so, we would attack. So if they don't disarm, they're liars. If they do, however, they're fools, because it seemed like Bush would attack regardless, and in completely disarming, all they would do is ensure their downfall. Iraq was damned no matter what they did, and now, it is possible, we are all doomed.
My being horrified and embarrassed about something that I believe to be an awful abuse of power and completely immoral doesn't mean that I don't love America. It doesn't mean that I don't think that it's a good place. Just because we live in a good place doesn't mean that we should stop striving to make it better, though.
Bush's initial attack on Iraq, as last I heard, was called the "shock and awe" campaign. It is not, in the strictest sense of the term, a military campaign. It is, instead, a psychological campaign, designed to leave
Iraq's soldiers unable and unwilling to fight. Over 48 hours, there are plans to launch between 600 and 800 guided missles, more than were sent in the entire Gulf War. All of these missles are targeting Baghdad. They
have been designed to set the entire city on fire, to cut off water, food, and power to all of its inhabitants. The government has passed off the myriad of civilian casualties that will inevitably result fromthis campaign as "unfortunate but necessary". The same government has praised the Shock and Awe campaign as "the next Hiroshima". There are five million people
living in Baghdad, and most of them are not soldiers. They are not fighters. They are families, and parents, and children, and they are all going to die. It's been estimated that over half the population of Baghdad could be killed by this campaign alone, and that the entire city could easily be reduced to rubble. This isn'tfighting a war against soldiers - This is waging
I believe with every ounce of my being that this is an unjust war, and one that we have no buisness starting. Even our so-called "allies" have agreed to do nothing more than to avert their eyes. Only Tony Blair has agreed to send troops to back us up, and he faces serious opposition from the British public in doing that.
So does not supporting the war make me anti-American? No. It makes me naive to some, I suppose. It makes me be at the recieving end of a lot of nasty remarks sometimes. It makes my stomach quake every time that I turn on the television, terrified that I will hear that we have started bombing, that this is reality. I have not turned on my television today.
Does not supporting a war make me anti-American? No. I love my country. It's flawed. We have a dirty history with a lot of glossed over incidents. We have racism and intolerance, just like everywhere else. Despite all this, it is still a good place, still a place where many things are good, and many things are right, and many people work hard every day to make the things that are still unjust and unfair better. My being anti-war has nothing to do with not loving America. It has to do with respecting life in every country, not just here. It has to do with supporting a peaceful resolution whenever possible, instead of assuming that force is the answer to everything. It has to do with my belief that people, all people, are entitled to something better in life than to become a nameless, faceless casualty in a war that they do not want to fight.
I've not turned on my television today. I know that I said that earlier. My friend, however, just called to tell me that the "sirens are going off in Baghdad". The strikes have begun, and I am sick with fear, and crying,
and ashamed. Ashamed of my country, of our leaders, and our incredible stupidity and arrogance.
And I am terrified.
Sung to the tune of If You're Happy and You Know It.
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If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky, bomb Iraq.
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression," bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
and that's good enough for me
'cause it's all the proof I need, so bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad
with the weapons that he had
(And he tried to kill your dad), then bomb Iraq.
If your corporate fraud is growing, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showing, bomb Iraq.
If your polities are sleazy,
and hiding that ain't easy
and your manhood's getting queasy, bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone has 'dissed' us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
let's look tough for the elections,
close your mind and take directions, bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? Well call it treason,
let's make war not love this season,
even if we have no reason, bomb Iraq.
I updated. Amazing, I know. I disappear for a month, then I give you this crap.
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I know that there are a few pregnant people reading this, and I know that I promised at least two of you that I'd make a list of all the things that I've been using constantly since I had Maura. I figured that I'd post the whole list here in case someone else could use it.
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Things that you really ought to have
Maxipads. Go buy a bunch, right now. I was all "Oh, I'll get a bunch from the hospital, no big deal." You don't get enough. Trust me. I bled for five weeks, people. Five. Weeks. Do you know how long and unpleasant that is? Also, splurge for the good ones. Kotex extra long overnights with adjustable wings are good, because they are, in my experience, supersticky and not so likely to bunch up in the back.
Diapers. Common sense, I know, but go buy at least one package of Pampers or Luvs size one. Normally, I'm so not at all into brand names, but with this, there's a reason. A few years back, all the major diaper companies started using velcro-like tabs, saying that they were adjustable and could be refastened. Well, that's all fine and good, but should you have a skinny or a small baby, you're going to either have to cross the tabs on the diapers, or you're going to have to buy preemie sized ones. Since preemie ones can only be special ordered in a lot of places, and they're crazy expensive, you want to cross the tabs. Unfortunately, with the velcro ones, the tabs won't stick to one another, only to the fuzzy panel on the diaper. Luvs and Pampers are the only two that I've come across so far that have both the sticky part and the velcro part. ((I've tried the WalMart brand, KMart brand, supermarket brand, Drypers, Target brand, Huggies, and I think one other thing that I can't remember. For the record, Huggies seem to be the most inefficient, in case you're concerned about that.))
While you're out buying the diapers, buy some forumlae. Yes, even if you're planning on only breastfeeding and never giving your child forumlae ever because it's creepy and scary. ((Which, incidentaly, is how I feel about the stuff.)) I was going to breastfeed only, but for whatever reason, my milk never came in. Even if you only buy one can of formulae, with a small baby, that can last almost a week. Just have it on hand. You'll also want some bottles, but you'll eventually use those for juice or expressed milk, anyhow, so you should already have those. Also, buy or make burp rags. I didn't think to do that, and as a result, am still using dish towels and cut up receiving blankets as burp rags. ((Hint, though, is that if the hospital gives you a bunch of ugly little blankets, cut them in quarters and you've got instant burp rags.))
Buy a Boppy. I thought that it was stupid. I thought that I was never going to use it. As it turns out, I used it constantly, and still use it quite a bit. ((She sits up a little now and prefers to nurse like that, so it's not so much an issue anymore.)) Really, though, you'd be amazed at how tired your arms will get after a few hours.
In vein with the tired arms, if you think that you want a sling, get it before you have the baby. I hate leaving Maura in a room while I go off somewhere else, and the sling was a lifesaver on the nights when she was a little fussy. I could just put her in it and walk. It also enabled me to do wild and crazy things like, say, go to the bathroom, or get something to eat.
Buy Simethicone drops. It's baby gas relief, and trust me, you will eventually need it. If you don't have any on hand, you're going to end up in Walgreens at three in the morning with a screaming baby, and it will suck. Trust me. While you're buying that, also buy Orajel and infant Tylenol. You may not need them right now, but you will eventually, and when that time comes, you're going to want them right then. Again, trust me.
Stock up on food that you can eat with one hand. Pretzels, bananas, dry fruit, cereal bars, whatever. Also, get a few books or movies for yourself. Babies sleep a lot, and I doubt that you can sleep as much as they do. At least, I can't. I've tried, and failed. You might be more talented than I, but books and movies are also nice to have around when you're nursing.
Buy a calling card, and get the numbers of at least two or three people who would really like to talk to you if you get bored. ((If you want my number, let me know. I'm here all the damn time, and I'm always looking for someone to talk to.)) There will come a point when you just want some adult interaction. Advance planning makes it much easier to get.
I figure you know things like needing a car seat and clothes.
Things that everyone said I'd need but I never used
A crib. She sleeps in my bed. She's been set in her crib exactly twice.
A bassinette and a cradle. I never used the cradle because it seemed too wobbly to be safe. The bassinette got used slightly more than the crib, but not by much, as she's happier sleeping in her sling.
A changing table. We have one. Every once in a while I remember to use it, but honestly, I'm much more likely to change her on the sofa or on my bed. It's just easier when you can sit down with them and do it.
A baby bathtub. I've come to the conclusion that these are worthless. Maura hates hers, all the kids that I used to nanny for hated theirs, and I have yet to meet anyone whose kid loved them. Maura loves baths if they're in the regular bathtub and I'm in there with her. She screams like a banshee if I try and bathe her in the baby tub.
Any outfit with pants and a top. They don't stay on if you have a skinny baby. Stick with rompers and the like.
Those stupid nursery monitors. I could barely let her out of my sight, let alone ear range. Don't bother.
Things that are sort of useful
The diaper genie. I know, this is a point of great contention. I have one. I use it. I think that it works pretty well, for what it is. The same effect, though, could be achieved by tossing dirty diapers into, say, a tupperware, and sealing it. Actually, that would probably work better. I keep one in my bedroom, because I only take things out of here about once a week. When she's changed in other parts of the house, I just toss them in the rubbish bin because those get emptied more frequently.
Bouncy seats and swings. They're okay. Maura will like both of them once in a while. Every once in a while she'll fall asleep in one, but honestly, I put her in them maybe once every few days. The rest of the time, I pretty much forget that they exist. If you're given them or can get them second hand, I'd say great, but I wouldn't go and spend, $35 bucks on one.
I think that about covers the vast majority of baby stuff. Let me know if there's anything specific that you have a question about, okay?
If you're not scared after listening to the State of the Union address tonight, all that I can say is that you should be. We should all be very, very scared.
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I'm sure that I'll say more about this later, but right now, I'm too upset to write.
This is, in my mind, one of the many signs of the impending apocalypse. I'm completely against a war, and think that we should do everything to avoid it, but really, getting a deferment because you're going to be on a television show? Give me a break.
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There's an entry up in the journal, just FYI. Pretty sappy and baby-related.
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The Crest Whitestrip experiment, day 4
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By now, I should've used these suckers eight times. I'm at six. Once I just forgot to use them, once I remembered as I was going to bed, and I decided that sleeping with them on might make me the reason that the box says "Do not ingest Crest Whitestrips," so I figured that I'd skip that.
Thus far, my teeth look . . .Well, frankly, they look about exactly the way that they did four days ago.
The weird thing about these, I think, is not so much that you're putting funny tasting pieces of plastic in your mouth, but that somehow, the gel does strange things. First off, it doesn't really make them stick to your teeth. They adhere the way things do when you put too much white glue on something and then pick it up - That is, they slide all over the damn place. My fingers are constantly in my mouth when I've got one of these one, just trying to keep it in place. It feels unsanitary. In addition to the inherent slideyness of the strips, the gel stuff also kind of breaks off in chunks. Did you ever let jello dissolve in your mouth when you were a kid? You know how it kind of breaks off in weird globules an floats around your mouth, and you can't really swallow it because it somehow clings to your teeth and tongue? That's what the Whitestrip gel does, and you spend the next four hours running your tongue around your mouth trying to loosen the gel globules, which, by the way, taste like. . .I don't even know. Not good. They taste like strangely sweet peroxide, though that probably doesn't help you, as most people have never had peroxide in their mouths. It's a bizarre taste, though, and not at all what I expected it to be. Oh, and it makes your tongue tingle.
Too, too weird. Tingling tongues and strangely sweet gel globules.
I realise that this makes for ((not)) fascinating reading. I'll keep you updated anyhow, though.